My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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