And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
