last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Randomize
