i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
