Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
