I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
And the cops told us we were all naked.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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