I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
