I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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