Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
