Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I touched a dick in church today
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
