Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
