Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
