This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
