i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
