Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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