You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
