I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize