I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver is dry heaving
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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