I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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