what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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