Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
