i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize