And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
