I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I have post one night stand depression
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
