Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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