If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize