You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
