and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.