Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
