I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
