Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
