I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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