I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize