Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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