You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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