Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i love accidental penises.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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