weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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