Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize