During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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