i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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