how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
