I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
