spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
