this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
