Swine flu. Run for my life!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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