I got chris browned last night
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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