my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
home. puking in laundry basket.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
