Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just want nice things and good sex
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
