READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
