Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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