ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
