Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize