Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
