I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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