I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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