Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
