I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you win again, gameday.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
