So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
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Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
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You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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