STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
