we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
